Joke 2: Three women talking about their sex lives
Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.
The first said, "I think my husband's like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."
The second woman said, "My husband's like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."
The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."
She thought for a moment and said, "My husband's like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."
"How so?"
"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds."
Joke 3: Husband wife getting ready for bed
A husband and wife were getting ready for bed one evening.
"Honey," the fellow asked, "do you want to have make love tonight?"
"No dear, not tonight," she replied.
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer!"
"In that case," he said, "may I phone a friend?"
Joke 4: What is Fudi?
Fudi is a maal
Made up of khaal
Covered by baal
Dekhne me kamaal
Inside se laal
Jo chode so nihal
Jo chudwaye wo behal
Aai samajh mein mere laal
Joke 5: Three ladies are sitting in a bar
Three ladies are sitting in a bar. All of them have husbands named Larry. One lady asks, "If you could name your husband after any soda pop, what would it be?"
The first lady thinks for a minute and says, "Moutain Dew, because he can mount and do me anytime."
The second lady thinks for awhile and finally says, "7-Up, because he has seven inches and can always get it up."
The third lady thinks for a long time and finally says, "Jack Daniels."
The other ladies look at her with a confused look and say, "Wait a minute, Jack Daniels is a hard liquor."
The third lady says, "Yep, thats my Larry!"
Joke 6: Two sperms talking to each other
Two sperms talking to each other the first say "when I develop I will become a doctor", the second says "when I develop I'll be an engineer for sure". The man goes in the toilet and masturbates, they both say "saaley ne career barbaad kar diya."
Joke 7: What kind of wife do you want?
Santa: What kind of a wife do you want?
Pappu: Exactly like moon, which appears in the night and disappears in the morning!
Joke 8: Easiest way to die
Easiest way to die:
1. Have a cigar daily - you will die 10 years early.
2. Have drinks daily - you will die 30 years early.
3. But love someone truly - you will die daily!
Joke 9: Blind man inside whorehouse
A blind man goes into a whorehouse and asks for a girl. The madam figures, since he's blind, she'll just give him an inflatable, lifesize doll -- he won't know the difference. So the man goes in the room with the inflatable girl and comes outfive minutes later. The madam asks him what happened and he says, “I slapped her ass, she farted and blew out the window.”
Joke 10: Man raped by an Elephant
A man goes to a doctor and says "What shall I do? I've just been raped by an elephant!" The doctor tells him to bend over so he can have a look at his ass. "That's funny!" He says "your asshole is 10 inches wide! I thought elephants only had thin long dicks?" The man says "Yeah but he fingered me first!"
Joke 11: Difference between Secretary and Personal Secretary
Difference between a Secretary and Personal Secretary:
Secretary: Good Morning, Sir.
Personal Secretary: It's morning. Sir.
Joke 12: Guy organizing a group sex session
Two friends:
- Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
- Of course! How many people are coming?
- Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
Joke 13: This Is Your Last Warning
Joke 14: Difference between chicken and baby
Que. What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Ans. Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.
Joke 15: Wife screaming after fucked twice
A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wie yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.
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